Is money a contributor to Marriage Break Down?

Yes. Money is somewhat of an incendiary device amongst couples. No surprises here: it is after all akin to a 'business relationship?. A divorce is an economic division of assets, so partnering up is a business proposition. By its own reckoning Relationships Australia had determined that money, or the fighting over money, was one of the single greatest causes of relationship breakdown.

More women than men rate financial woes as the main cause of divorce, according to its research. The research revealed 37 per cent of women cited financial stress as the cause of marital misery, while 30 per cent of men expressed the same view. It makes sense therefore as a topic of good money management to examine why this is so and to put up some simple remedies to avoid getting into strife.

Not only is money at the root of all a family's decisions but also at stake are some fundamental questions. First of all, the questions overriding almost everything in relationships is, ?Do you love me? Do you care about me as much as I care about you?? So, inevitably a lot of the struggles between couples over money are really about the relationship.

Then come the arguments based on different values. The man, for instance, might come from a family background where extravagance is a way of enjoying life. The woman might see lavishness as morally suspect. The ultimate reason for disagreement then has to do with their respective learned experiences from childhood.

Talking about money in relationships can be very tricky because there are underlying issues of power - you don't want to face the notion that maybe you are financially dependent. It goes against the way you want to picture marriage. There are common traps that couples fall into when discussing money. The most simple is to assume that your way is right and the other person's way is wrong. We are prone to labels such as ?you're controlling?, ?you're passive-aggressive?. What is needed is an approach that is neutral: simply two differing styles. Define each person's role in the ?business? side of the relationship.

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