Woman and separation

There are no rules about how deep and varied feelings are in separation. We all progress at different rates. Women are in many ways better equipped than men to cope: they generally have a much wider pool of friends to talk to and share what they are experiencing.

But they can also be disadvantaged when it comes to finances. As with many issues in life, having choices can be a source of comfort.

In life whether a new career is beckoning or a new life in another country, personal empowerment begins with creating options - giving ourselves choices. Knowing we have choices allows us to assert some control over our lives. When feelings are intense as they always are in separation, such choices are not easily seen. But options do exist.

Women report many different changes after separation. One woman reported to me at a seminar I was running around wealth creation that she did not know how to write a cheque! Another reported that she had no idea what insurances were in place. Many said they did not have their own credit card or bank account. And, with black humour, one reported that she lived with a leaking tap for three months because she was too embarrassed to admit she didn't know how to fix it. For some women practical matters and economic planning were taken care of by their former partners.

Financial hardship is often one of the most significant challenges of separation. Many may manage to juggle their finances most of the time but many constantly worry about unpredictable expenses and the future.

A number of women will find that they need to return to the workforce after a long absence. Many could find the prospect of getting back into the workforce daunting. Talking to a careers counselor or a jobs network provider is a good start as is talking to a financial adviser.

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